I just downloaded Blogger app from my phone, yay much?! So anyways I'm at work now, Rob went for his break 20 minutes ago. & I'm just indulging my poorly done hazelnut milk tea. Sales is still untouched LOL Wendy really need to find a way to boost up the sales what more Gong Cha just opened a week ago. I smell competition.

Lately I feel like I've been too hard on my boyfriend without any apparent reason. Or maybe there are things I'm unhappy of yknow. Like (Especially), party supposed to be a once or twice in a month thing but now, every weekend we got home high & all. Don't get me wrong, I love party. I believe a good balance is all me & Sherwin needs. I don't want to waste my weekends listening to loud music, see each other getting high & surrounded with sweaty crowd. Sometimes I just want to be alone with him, listen to each other's thought, eat good food & laugh over legit things. Get it?

I know Sherwin just ORD & he deserve all the fun he've been missing out but that does not mean I have to give in to his self-enjoyment all the fucking time even if it hurts me. I'm your girlfriend Sherwin. Club is not a way for me and you to spend time with each other. Really, half of the time in the club we are just trying to get each other by fighting the loud music. Is that your idea of quality time together?

I'm sorry I just had to vent it here. I can't take this bullshit any longer. Can you just spare a minute & think of what a couple in a relationship do & don't do? Im tired of explaining myself all the fucking time. It makes me look damn needy & makes you look ignorant to the things i say. I'm begging you, please

Birthday Shoutout

This post is solely dedicated to my precious boyfriend. First and foremost, I am extremely glad that I am celebrating your birthday for the second time. Especially now its your 21st birthday. This age not only mark the start of your adulthood but it's also the time where you have to be responsible and committed to do things you do too. But that's not the case baby, age is just a number! You (and I) are gonna be forever young at heart! & now that you're gonna start school and work at the same time, I hope we wont be drifted apart from each other. I want you to know that when times get rough, I will be standing by your side walking the road with you like i've always do. I love you b, more than you and i can ever imagine.

Happy 21st birthday. (Happy ORD OH!!!!!! & Happy 20 monthsary) <3

See you later cayang :)

Beware

Alright, here it goes.

The last time I updated my blog was late January & this is what has been happening my life ever since.

The secondary school mates & I celebrated Fidah's 19th. It was a simple celebration but as always, we managed to have so much fun out of it. Part of the surprise was a crown (It was supposed to be a tiara but I couldn't find any), a magic wand HAHA, a HUGE hello kitty balloon her most fav & she simply have to walk around in town wearing and bringing all that. Oh yea, of cos I invited Chad to be part of the surprise too. Yayyyy success!

After the surprise, headed down to Zirca w Sherwin, Rey and Ash. Worst night ever!

Following week, I celebrated Ath's 20th w Shandy. It was nice! Herda gave us the Pizza Hut vouchers, we bought 20 gifts that Ath might like & surprised her w a sinful lava cake topped w vanilla ice cream. Thats it! So much fun! Sigh, bliss. Love my cousins so much!

The next day, I had to go down to Ngee Ann Poly to help Fizah with her school project as a model. I don't have any official pictures yet but this is all I have. I cant wait to see the rest of the pictures. That's Mark btw :)

It was a pretty hectic week for me so on the next consecutive day, I had company dinner at Republic of Yacht Club. I didn't take any pictures. Awesome place & the food was average but since its free, its delicious! HAHAHA

Finally friday night, I spent the day out w my beloved Bf. We had Javiers & catch a movie after a long time. Chronicle is awesome. I wish i had super powers too!! Fly around the world. Sighhhh wishful thinking eh Sha.

Saturday night tiu tiu tiu w SIM kids + Mad Thrills + Ash's 19th = Awesome!!

Last Friday, we celebrated Rey's 19th & went to zouk for Hardwell w the same awesome mates!

Oh btw I did my hair, and cut my fringe too. Hehe!

Had a mini advanced valentine's with Sherwin the day after. We went for steamboat. Baby surprised me w a daisy flower and a box of chocolate! Hehehe!! Thank u syg! I love u!

Well thats about it. Im actually typing in the dark room. Im too lazy to switch on the lights and to ensure there is no typos, I purposely gave a very brief summary about the huu haas! Besides, a picture can speak a 1000 words yeah?

Haha more awesome time to come <3

its a stay home saturday for me today. earlier on, i had a family gathering over at my house. half of the time, i just wanna get it over and done with. damn worn out thanks to a screwed up night at zirca. im glad that the entrance was free. if i were to pay to get in, OMG..fucking waste of money. well, enough of dwelling already, i cant wait for mad thrills next week. celebrating rey's & ash's birthday as well, haha party mates! :P

on another brighter note, i will be getting my pay this coming wed (OMG!!!!!!!!) yes after so long.. i cant wait to fix my stupid hair & get new clothes! and of course, the main highlight of february: my cayang 21st birthday in conjunction w our 20monthsary!! <3

also, wish me luck for my ite application results :/ i usually avoid talking about this matter bcos i can get really nervous just sparing a thought for school :( me so excited for tuesday btw, celebrating ath's birthday w the cousins!!

last but not least, life has never been better. less drama & attention, just the way i fancy it :) cheers to a better month ahead

the dragon year!

obviously, there's too much negativity going on in this space of mine but tonight, i will turn everything around! im so sick and tired of expecting good to happen! so FUCK IT~ no more paying so much attention on my stupid problems, now im gonna focus on goals and most importantly, solutions! because when i stress about my problems, i forgot about the best things i have in life such as my family, cousins, boyfriend, close friends & a damn awesome lepak job!

currently, im waiting for ite to call me up for my course interview! im very nervous the fact that its ald 22nd (ite results on the 30th) & i havent got an email or whatsoever yet UNLESS, 30th is the date to know that im shortlisted for an interview :/ idk, if i wont get any call for the interview, i will appeal again!! OMG I REALLY WANNA GO TO SCHOOL. its been a year!!

i've been busy with work these days mainly bcos i chose to, need the money for february!

(boyfriend's birthday) HEHE so damn excited for my january pay! cant wait to pay my bill & do my hair.. ALSO, i really wanna go to future music fest this 17 march @ sepang!!!! MUST GO, awesome artistes line up.. im bummed (for 2 PRIOR reasons) to use my remaining jan pay to purchase the early bird tix but its damn cheap!!!!

and as u all know, today is the eve of cny! met bf early afternoon, had mcd + ironman 2 + shopped at ntuc w vouchers haha yay! after which i accompanied him to town to meet nic before they left for their reunion dinner! working 1-10pm tmr till thursday ERGH DREAD DREAD DREAD!!

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEARS EVERYBODY!! EAT MORE ORANGE SO CAN GET MORE MONEY AHHAHAHA MY MANAGER SAY TO ME ONE K BABAI

the +ve side of me

Lately, I don't have one. I'm sorry

feet don't fail me now

I feel there's alot more better things for me to worry such as, school and money. ESPECIALLY SCHOOL AND MONEY. It's only been a week or two, who's counting!, and I'm already feeling so fucked up about everything. I have to be a daughter, granddaughter, ice cream scooper, student, friend and girlfriend at the same fucking time. Everyone expect so much from me. Who the fuck am I?! I must take care of each and everyone of your feelings and not even mine! Well guess what, I'm about to self destruct anytime sooner if any of you step on my fucking toes. It's fucking annoying when everyone want so much from me when they don't do the slightest shit about it at all.

Lately, I worry so much what the fuck my boyfriend do behind my back. I have to cater to his feelings at the same time I dont want to. I want him to stay but I dont want him to! I also just came back from a school & I was told that I can apply online when no!!!, I'm supposed to go to the HQ & apply for school. But wait, I already have a tight schedule ahead, how the fuck am i supposed to run this school errand? & I suppose I can't bail my manager now? I need the money too.

People expect me to relax. Yes, I want to, badly. I want to wake up the next day and couldn't careless about my worries but I can't. I CAN'T. & it's extremely sad to know that I am doing my very best but I'm still here, still not going anywhere. Stagnant!

I am getting older does not mean I am getting stronger. Mentally, yeah sure why not. I am already trying so hard to figure out the wiser things in life. I'm desperate. I'm getting out of control. I'm so fucking confused and no one is here to give two fucks about how I feel. Right now, I just wanna shut myself out from the world.

Oh wait, is anyone out there? Yeah there is, making their way towards me just to demotivate the fuck out of me.

You're right, I'm selfish. You're the best thing that ever happen to me in my whole life. I think I've emphasize so many times on how much i fucking love you. Yknow i will do anything to prove you that I value this relationship more than anyone else. This is real, everything about you and me it's real. I'm crying and I really wish you were here wiping away my tears and tell me everything will be okay. Right now, I feel like this is forever and I don't want it to ever end. I hope you know there's alot I sacrifice to make our relationship work, just as much as the effort you've already put in for the past 18 months. I will never get the idea of how a perfect relationship is because I've never been in one. & if i have a choice, i will leave perfect behind just to be with you. Love is a beautiful disaster & it's okay if I'm already wounded by the mistakes we did in this relationship. I know it's all worth it.

But right now..., i'm starting to lose touch. I don't feel it. Lately things hasn't been well & I'm always the one who wanna make things right.I managed to put aside my ego for awhile & try not to screw things up. Although now I already screw things up, i'm glad we talked about that matter otherwise I won't know anything at all. You're breaking my heart, Sherwin. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. So confused & I don't know if I can do this anymore

I'm sorry, I've stopped giving a fuck. Have a good day, motherfuckers.

Maybe she's better. Maybe I try too hard. Maybe you don't need me. Maybe I still need you. Maybe I did my best. Maybe she don't even have to do anything at all. Maybe I need the money but maybe I just don't. Maybe I'm unfriendly. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe you hate me. Maybe the world doesn't revolve around me. Maybe I like you. Maybe I'm not cool enough for you. Maybe I'm flirting. Maybe I wasn't. Maybe I'm ugly. Maybe I just want the attention. Maybe I thought you're nice. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I miss you. Maybe I don't miss you at all. Maybe I wanna be different. Maybe that's not me at all. Maybe I'm poor. Maybe I'm rich. Not of gold but of knowledge. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe not, maybe you are the one who's fucking jealous. Maybe my dream is stolen. Maybe its yours as well. Maybe everyone want to be cool. Maybe everyone is cool. Maybe I'm immature. Maybe I do have a problem. Maybe I've seen enough. Maybe not. Maybe, there's still alot more to be seen.

Merry 18thmas'ary!

Today, Sherwin & I spent our late afternoon having a rainy picnic. We celebrated xmas & our advanced anni celebration. Damn relieved it was only drizzling when I arrived. We had nuggets for appetiser (HAHA), spaghetti for main entree & pancakes for dessert. Yes, I purposely chose to have a 3 course set menu for the picnic just to invite the +ve xmas vibe which is really damn fail. After which, we took pictures here and there then bused down to Dhoby to grabbed brownies for Sherwin. Slacked around w Fairytale & headed home. Early night.

Merry Christmas! :)

I spent my 18th with Sherwin. He got me the huge fruit tart cake, how sweet when i could really use just a slice. Nevertheless, it was simple & lovely (the way I fancy it). I broke my ladies night virgin last night with Sherwin & Reyro since none of our friends are able to make it for the party. Ladies night was...horrible. I tried to enjoy the music but attempt damn fail until Inquisitive started spinning which was really relieving. Not for long, a fight hyped up the atmosphere & honestly it was fucking shit I was alrd feeling uncomfortable & scared. We left Zirca right after, grabbed our last sip..was hanging out and bam! another drama started again. Zzzz after which, we went home.

Damn flattering Reyro & Sherwin promised to make it up to me for another party session since last night was suck ass -.- Looking forward to it :)

Our Batam Trip

First day was awesome. We went for parasailing & ate quite alot. We had pizzas. The pizza was fine, it is not something that you can see in singapore with thick cut chili padis in it. HAHA. There is really nothing much for the highlight of the day 'cept for the water activity that we did. Oh yeah, we cycled from harris hotel to the shophouses beside waterfront terminal to get some food. & that's when we realized that we spent so much more at the hotel minimart earlier in the morning -.- Lesson to be learn: NEVER BUY ANYTHING FROM THE HOTEL MINIMART. Pizza & 30minutes of cycling was part of the package so why not! I can't say that the dinner was brilliant but it was fairly good. Shared the main dishes we ordered among ourselves and surprisingly we were full to the brim! Just hanged around in the hotel room, watch some tv & again, consume alot of fattening food which at that point of time, it doesn't really matter.


Breakfast was exceptionally fulfilling. There was waffle, fried bee hoon and alot more! Waited an hour or less then bam! we took the bus to nagoya shopping centre. The first thing we did was ESKA. It is $3 higher for the manicure there than in Singapore(not including the tax). Scrub was good too! I like their service though, they were very quick at responding my enquiries plus very friendly people. After pampering ourselves, we ate at A&W & missed the bus back to Harris which was at 2pm (Batam time). Shopped for the loved ones, there wasn't really nothing nice to get or fancy so we bought alot of food. While my cousins went to shop for themselves, I was admiring a watch that in the end I bought for Sherwin although I was already mad broke. I was glad he like it alot though. HEHE. Bought Bakso & Nasi Ayam Penyet then cabbed to the hotel for $17. We wanted to bowl at night but we let it pass so we stayed in and AGAIN WATCH SOME TV AND SLEEP. As the night gets younger, it got pretty interesting. All of us became lizard slayer. HAHAHAHAHAHA

I swear this very simple getaway with my cousins is something i need to escape myself from the busy city. I am looking forward for more outings like this w my cousins in the future!!

Okay pardon me, i'm too sleepy to continue this post.

Nothing exciting happened the past few days 'cept for the short trip with my cousins which went very well, although being greeted with disappointing news from Sherwin was major upsetting if you count that as something interesting.

I was supposed to meet Tiara today but both of us bailed or maybe it's just me because I knew about this and didn't remind her of anything. Lol. Guilty!

I'm so not in the mood for anything fancy now, just wanna stone.

I will update about Batam once Syirah uploaded the pictures.

Back home from the short getaway & reality...reality never taste this bitter before. :(

Today, I got half of my december pay. Hello to broke January.

my interesting life

It took me half a day to think of something to post in my blog & actually I am still deciding what to type about. I thought maybe if I start typing, ideas will start dashing through my mind which is really not happening right now.

I don't have a very moving life. Honestly I DONT HAVE A LIFE. Okay overreacting. I do have one but not as exciting as other girls'. BUT TONIGHT, IN THIS POST, I WILL TRY TO MAKE MY LIFE SOUNDS (or look in this case) INTERESTING.

I spent my saturday eating gelare waffles & poorly done mee bakso w my favourite girl at vivo. Did our cool handshake (HAHA), hug & kissed boyfriend before he party his night at zoukout. Fidah & I saw the eclipse, watched caucasians getting drunk & took the shorter route home by circle line. I'm already yawning reading this paragraph all over again just to slot in a few more happening sentences to make it interesting. Bleahhhhh. I slacked at home today? Oh! I fried chicken nugget & cooked rice after so long. Lol...

Moving on...you know what.. This is tough. Tomorrow onwards, I will find something at least one crazy thing to do every single day (although i'm already planning to kidnap my residential cat: gemok & super cute white cat) so my life or my future blogposts will be worth the read.

Good night, *cuddle my gemok jr*

xoxo you know you love me, gossip girls

I've been spending my nights watching gossip girls and I decided to give tonight a rest. I didn't know it can be very exhausting to keep up with all the gossips and huu-haa, even in tv shows although I really fancy the characters, school uniform and how filthy rich they are.

Now I also understand why girls are crazy over Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick. Well unlike Edward Cullen & Robert Pattinson, I actually prefer both Bass & Westwick equally. I don't know which is better, Bass playing a very mean yet loving-underneath-it-all character or Westwick who is actually British! Haha! Dan & Serena's relationship, I feel like I can relate to their status problems very well (except for the part that they share the same sibling). Blair, I can't even describe her, she's really amazing in her own way. I know this paragraph seems 3 seasons ago because it is, I haven't watch GG wholefully so I figured, why not.

Before I immersed myself in Gossip Girls again, I better start talking about my life which I forever almost have. Let me see, I splurged alot online but it's all worth it knowing that I am getting half of my pay next Wednesday. This is also mainly because I asked for it. I needed the money for the big month, my month. I have such a versatile manager although it get a little bit awkward when I'm standing right beside her contemplating if I should strike a conversation first. The best I can talk about is the weather. I guess I'm just holding myself back from the line where she's MY manager & I'm just her staff, nothing more.

Other than that, I want 2011 to end gracefully. It started out very well & actually this year is not that bad afterall. It's too early to conclude so but from where I'm standing, really 2011 went quite smooth. 2012 is a new beginning and I'm already anticipating for a change, a better change of course.

Tomorrow is Friday so have a splendid weekend everybody! & for those who's going zoukout, be safe :)

Sherwin gets me all the time when he talk about my birthday. I kept denying I'm not looking forward to anything this month but he always manage to make me think the otherwise!

ME SO X.SAI.3RD!!!!!

My month,

November ended quite bad.. I shall not think about it anymore. Anyway, hi December.